Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
