i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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