I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
