i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
