first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
