you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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