Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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