I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
