I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
