Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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