How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
