This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
