Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
