I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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