I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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