I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
