Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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