Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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