She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Damn victory sex feels great
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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