the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
