I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
