i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
