no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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