i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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