I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
