But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
