yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
