hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I'm passing your future prison.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
