He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
