Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
