i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
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there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
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Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
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