My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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