The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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