I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
