if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
