That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
