i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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