can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Randomize
