i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
50% drunk capacity currently
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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