Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
