hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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