Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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