It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
