I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
