So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize