Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
COCAINE IS GR8
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
