I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
