Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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