i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Pants are for mortals
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
