Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
You were trust falling into bushes
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
