so that wasnt chicken after all
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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