I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
