I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
