You're so nebulous sometimes
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
