recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
