I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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