Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
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His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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