Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Randomize
