No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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