38 yer olds are good kisserssss
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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