oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
