i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
