She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
