Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
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